How Much Is Your Service ?

I have had my mobile phone number for at least 5 years. I am not one of those people that seem to change their number every 6 months and have multiple entries in your address books. I have stuck with my number through thick and thin. I have refused the lure of great plans and hot new hardware. I have not even THOUGHT of changing my number....well that part is not quite true.

You see, about a year ago I started getting strange calls. Just getting a call in itself was strange as I use my phone mainly for business calls or to ring the children to say I am going to be late. I ring people, people don't ring me (probably because I have trouble getting to the ringing phone in my bag before if goes to voicemail). My home-made ringtone (the Harry Potter theme) is rarely heard in the average week.

But when it did ring the conversations would go something like this...

[cue Harry Potter]
*scramble about in handbag madly to find phone before it cuts off after two rings*

Me: Hello, Gramyre speaking
Male Voice: Hi do you have a spot free this afternoon?
Me: Errr what?
Male Voice: Oh sorry wrong number *hangs up*


Or the alternate

Me: Hello, Gramyre speaking
Male Voice: How much are your services?
Me: What???
Male Voice: Oh sorry wrong number *hangs up*


Once I finally cottoned on to what these gentlemen were asking I became curious as to why they were calling MY number. Did I have a secret enemy that had scrawled my number on a toilet wall somewhere. Was it *god forbid* ON THE INTERNET? Who would have done such a thing.

I put on my detective hat and noted that every call was coming through from Melbourne numbers (those that had their numbers displaying) so it wasn't something local and it wasn't something on the internet *phew*. It took several attempts to talk to these men to get to the bottom of it all. Understandably they didn't feel like sticking around to chat about trying to engage a prostitute, even if it was with the total stranger that they had just rung and asked if they could book in for "an all services plus a flogging with a tennis racquet".

It seems that a lady regularly advertises her services in a local newspaper in Melbourne. Nothing unusual there. And although her number is similar to mine, it is still printed quite correctly in the paper. What seems to happen is these men who are probably panting and frothing at the mouth for a good rogering, were consistently getting one number wrong and end up talking to a bemused woman thousands of kilometres away.

From the amount of wrong number calls I get (and they would only be a small percentage of the number of calls she would get in total) I would say this lady is doing quite well in her business! Alas now although I have not changed my mobile phone number I do let any Melbourne number go through to my voicemail that clearly states they have rung "Gramyre of XYZ company".

It's when they have an unlisted number that they still catch me out.

*Harry Potter theme plays*

Me: Hello, Gramyre speaking....you want WHAT?!?!


8 sleeps till my birthday