I Can't Believe I am An Adult
I don't know about you, because many of you are not quite adults...yet, but I often have periods of age confusion. You see my birthday is coming up soon. One of those fabulous birthdays that end in zero and have cards that mention droopy tits and being over the hill and life beginning at *0. Trouble is my brain, depending on mood and circumstance, believes it is somewhere between 11 and 17 years old. Well either 11 or 17 actually, no in-between.
I am sure psychiatrists would make a packet out of getting me to try and grow up, but I really don't want to. I love giggling at dirty jokes. I love being silly when I go shopping. I cannot BELIEVE that I have a CAR and I am allowed to drive it on the ROAD!
My work colleagues see me as some smiley competent woman striding purposefully through the office, dealing with crises faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap emergencies in a single bound. Whereas I see myself playing dress ups every morning putting on the power suit and the pointy shoes and tottering off to earn ridiculously huge sums of money (please Miss can I have 40,000 Mars bars!).
While all of this seems a lot of fun, there are times when I am absolutely paralyzed with fear. This is when I look in the mirror and the little girl face I expect to see smiling back at me is instead MY MOTHER'S FACE. How on earth did that happen? Jowls for fuck sake! If I had the cash I would have the face tacked up (along with the guts removed).
13 days till my birthday
I am sure psychiatrists would make a packet out of getting me to try and grow up, but I really don't want to. I love giggling at dirty jokes. I love being silly when I go shopping. I cannot BELIEVE that I have a CAR and I am allowed to drive it on the ROAD!
My work colleagues see me as some smiley competent woman striding purposefully through the office, dealing with crises faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap emergencies in a single bound. Whereas I see myself playing dress ups every morning putting on the power suit and the pointy shoes and tottering off to earn ridiculously huge sums of money (please Miss can I have 40,000 Mars bars!).
While all of this seems a lot of fun, there are times when I am absolutely paralyzed with fear. This is when I look in the mirror and the little girl face I expect to see smiling back at me is instead MY MOTHER'S FACE. How on earth did that happen? Jowls for fuck sake! If I had the cash I would have the face tacked up (along with the guts removed).
13 days till my birthday
posted by Allison Reynolds at 6:49 PM
5 Comments:
Shut up about the jowls, will ya?
I'm gonna turn 42 in a couple of weeks and I am NOT old enough to BE worrying about jowls.
PS nice to have you back.
;-D
Shit, your birthday is the day before mine.
Damn, we are seriously classy chicks.
hehehehehahahha - Whereas I see myself playing dress ups every morning putting on the power suit and the pointy shoes and tottering off to earn ridiculously huge sums of money (please Miss can I have 40,000 Mars bars!).
I don't even know what age I am anymore, somewhere between 15 and 90 I think
Morticia I am 1/12 ....my counting may be off as I wasn't couting sleeps...you 2/12 or 3/12?
Sagittareans rock!
In some ways you are lucky. I look in the mirror and I am the age I feel. Occasionally I feel older. I can hardly imagine going to a power job and actually having fun.
So Happy Birthday Grams. Enjoy, and may you never feel like you're 70.
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