Stress

Jeremy is on an imposed holiday. I went to see the psych on Monday and she helped quite a bit. One of the decisions I reached is that I need a break. Well, I've needed a break for a year and have done more than hint at it so I finally said that Jeremy should bite the bullet and go visit his brother in Queensland for a week or I was going to spend 2 weeks at mums. Well, it was probably a bad week to do this seeing as I've worked solidly at painting and fixing up mum's new investment property, will deliver magazines tomorrow, will continue at the property over the weekend, will clean Merrilee's (my boss of 13 years) on Monday and pick up Jeremy on Tuesday. Not much of a break...though it has been lovely to get to sleep at a normal time, sleep through and wake to hear nothing but rain. I do feel my sanity returning.

Oh yeah, the psych says I'm normal - for someone under stress. My problem is only stress and post trauma related. No depression or anxiety. My memory problems can be attributed to stress, so that's great news. Now I just have to alleviate it!

Why housework is best left to the women

I was working late last night at a customer site where water had entered the roof and rained down upon the area near the servers, to this end, we were relocating the cabinet and the mess of cables that builds up near any poorly organised server area.

Anyway, at one stage, the customer was nearby vacuuming the floor with their new vacuum cleaner. I noticed them complaining that it was difficult to manouver around, and he did indeed seem to be having trouble with it, but I thought nothing of it.

About 5 minutes later, the vacuum falls over with a fairly loud bang, so he turns it off and shakes it, which produces a fairly clunky sound, after agreeing unanimously that this does not sound good, they took the cover off to see what happened.

Inside the chamber were the following:
Dirt
Vacuum cleaner instruction manual
Vacuum cleaner nozzel attachments
Vacuum cleaner wheels
Vacuum cleaner bag (folded up down the bottom)

I am told one of the persons in the company had also emailed the vacuum cleaner vendor complaining about the lack of instructions shipping with the device....

Just goes to show, cleaning is womens work.

What's The BIG IDEA?

I don't know. And that is my problem at this moment. I have writer's block when it comes to thinking up ideas for a new business and yet I desperately want some because I am going mental working for someone else.

Some sure fire things I have thought about are
1) creating a craze idea that gets taken up by the world
2) creating a kick arse brand
3) going into business with work colleagues and setting up the corporate retreat business we have always talked about

It's a shame that the viagra penis enlargement patch market is all tapped out.

Well, I came back from lunch a little early and was grabbed the first elevator heading up. Full of suits from the higher floors as per usual, none of my kind at all... Headphones in and loud enough so everyone else can hear them, shirt proclaiming my love of poodle's for breakfast and beanie on - I may have stood out a little.

noticeable lack of movement after a second and I notice a bit of head scratching from my vertical traveling companions, naturally I pop a headphone out...



The screens are displaying 'Engine Start Failure' instead of the time, floor and destination as per usual. Someone hits the Open Door and the beeping stops. Doors close and we elevate as people are meant to - For about eight seconds...



'Engine Start Failure'

At this point I share a moment with Stuart, who is an Accountant up on 13, our eyes meet and a moment unbroken by words passes between us. Unfortunately its one of forced politeness mixed with anxiousness and an uncomfortable feeling that could be panic.

Roger, Accounts Manager on 17 takes charge - he is a very 'take charge' kind of guy - and opens the emergency panel. There passes four minutes of forced pleasantries and general feelings of ill will towards elevator designers, engineers and maintenance in this building.

I think it Fazzy, the Regional Distribution Manager who is only coming to pick up his girlfriend for lunch makes the best remark of this short period:

"You'd think in fucking two-thousand and fucking five we wouldn't have elevators that broke down! Yeh its me babe, I'm stuck in the fucking elevator coming up..." The last bit into his mobile phone. I think that was where I became aware that he could quite possibly be an idiot.

Well, Roger gets someone on the line and they natter for a while and I'm tempted to pop my other headphone back in to avoid any further pleasantries but decide against it as I am beginning to become very keen indeed on exiting this elevator post haste. In my mind I am wondering why I took an express - the ones that only service the top nine floors - and how much oxygen is left in here? Are these things air-tight or what!?

Roger calmly tells us they 'cannot fix it remotely and are coming on-site to handle it.' Roger is very calm, restlessness and awkward sideways glances passes like a wave over the group.

"Fuck it." I squeak, my voice still ain't one hundred percent since losing it. Maybe I should see a doctor after all. "I'm getting comfortable."

I drop to the floor and stretch out my legs. This presents a new problem: Seven men of pretty similar height - around the six-ish mark - wanting to sit down in an elevator and as big as an elevator may seem when you're standing nine, sitting seven is a different vertical immobile object.

After a while we've settled in and a couple of conversations flow and Stuart tells a joke - I kid you not, an accountant told a joke unprompted! Well we passed a few back and forth before they started to get a little more blue and I soon forgot about pitting my fingernails against the steel of the doors for escape and was having a great laugh.

Then it happened, all the movement and body contortions from laughing caused me to drop a fart - Its not as bad as you might think though. It wasn't some sound barrier breaking, after beer smelling, machine gun from hell... It was silent as a dog whistle and at that point I was the only one who knew what had passed: About thirty liters of the vilest swamp gas and methane ever produced by man!

It took me about thirty seconds of cautious and very, very subtle sniffing to smell it but there it was. I did well to mask my contempt and not cough up a lung as it infiltrated my airways.

Alas, I was caught in the most delicate position known to vertical immobile object friends and my mind waged the hundred year war of debates in about ten seconds.

Well, sad to say I panicked and didn't say a thing, I waited until I was sure I seen a subtle sideways glance mis-placed between myself and Ben, the PA from 18 and made sure my glance was more noticeable and in Bens direction. It didn't take them long to place the blame and the chatter dried up pretty quickly... Well, almost...

"Which one of you dirty pricks cut one!?" Demanded Fazzy, but it came out a lot funnier with his accent and while a distinctly heard chuckles I can't say for sure who laughed first but Ben was one of the first and was hence blame was laid by Fazzy's dirty look at him.

Well, the rest of the story is a bunch of getting to know some neighbors I never knew I had and a bit of male bonding - All of which is surpassed by the fart story - and finally being released 45 minutes after I had entered the lift.

Oh, and I did call my trainer to let him know I'd be late back from lunch but I was in the building :)

How to solve the water, power, pollution, garbage and hatred of Indonesia problems in a single unified action plan

Ok, so Sydney and the rest of this big brown land are facing a crisis. Theres no water. Envoromentalists say that to help the enviroment, we need to conserve water and practice smart water useage like recycling to save this precious resource.

I say fuck off you stupid fucking cunts. I am not going to drink someone elses shit or piss fucking water, and fuck you for suggesting I do in the first place, and secondly, my fucking concrete driveway looks absolutley awful since I cant hose the fucking thing down without being screamed at by passing motorists and shot at by police.

I am a man, and as a man, I have certain rights, such as leaving the shower running all day so when i get home the water is the right temperature and washing my car on the concrete every second day followed by hosing the concrete down for as long as I fucking want to.

So how do we solve the dilemma of some stupid old fucks not provisioning enough water for me to use while also helping other poorly designed public services???????

Easy, we build a MASSIVE garbage incinerator / power station, bigger then anything the world has ever seen. Now before you start waving your BO smelling arms at me hippy, shut the fuck up and listen.

1. We burn garbage to get it out of the landfill and out of the water table, making the land safe to eat and drink again.

2. We use the electricity that is produced by burning garbage to power this great nation to victory and for running desalinisation plants to give us all the fresh water we need to flush our toilets with 200 liters on half flush and other water saving activities.

3. We also use the electricity to power a huge fan, which will blow the air pollution safely out of harms way into Indonesian airspace, making us look like a greenhouse gas saint, while Indonesia cops the blame for making all that dirty fucking smoke that is hovering over their country.

4. Thats it, all the problems are solved, you can fuck off now and go hose the driveway again.

In closing, lets stop talking and start burning, coz my pavers are dry as all hell and need a good drenching.

Cheers

The Great Australian Sickie

Today I am taking a sickie. A mental health day if you like. Mind you I feel pretty yuck, but I have been to work feeling yucker.

I rarely take a full sickie. I mostly choose to work from home that allows me to appear to be working, but not work as hard as I would if I was in the office. Those days are good when I just can't muster up enough tolerance to face the people issues that are happening in the office.

But today is the full on sickie. Rang the boss at 7:30am and left a message I was spending the day in bed. And I did go back to bed after dropping the kids to the bus stop. And again after a courier came to the door to drop off a parcel. But then I was too awake and restless and aggro so here I am. About to launch into a day of World Of Warcraft I think.

Or maybe back to bed for an afternoon nap before picking the kids up, and going shopping, and cooking dinner....

Paddling Upstream

Where is everybody? Maybe one of these would get their arses posting!

Not Too Foul...

I didn't throw up again but I've had cramping on and off all day and so has Jeremy. I'd say it's a bug. It hasn't stopped my usual routine so it's not a bad one though.

The good news is that my marks are finally in for the Diploma of Systems Administration. Apparently my teacher sent them ages ago but I never received them. Oh well...here they are now...


3659A 100
3660A 100
3660E 93
3661C 97
3661A 95
3655F 90
3661D 100
3661F 94
3661E 93
3661G 95
3656D 85
3661H 98
3660F 95
3661M 93
3661N 95
3661R 95
3661S 100
3661T 95
3661J 85
3661K 94
3661L 90
3661B 95
3661X 75


One credit in there. I can live with that. It was the most technical module of the lot and I'm much better with project management than techie stuff. I'm still astounded that I got Network Management with a distinction. I didn't deserve it. I only got that because the structure of the course worked so well for me.

Anyways, enough spouting from me. Now I just have to finish painting and fixing up mum's new investment property and find myself a job. I was sent some job descriptions to apply for already but I've been so busy and mum really wants me to finish helping her first. I suppose it's the least I can do for her after everything she does for me.

Grooooooooooaaaaaaaan!

I'm just sitting here at 2am because I've just thrown up for the first time in 9 years and now I want to whinge a bit. It was most unpleasant.

I have actually lamented over the last several months that I need a stomach flu to reduce my stomach capacity (which is huge) but now that I'm ill I'm not so sure. I think I'm still ill because I'm cramping up. Caitlin is off to see the Lion King with her grandparents tomorrow (her birthday present) and I sure hope this isn't contagious. I'd hate to see them come down with something.

Some good news though...I think my car did it's head gasket so we decided it was trade in time (it also had a major problem with 3 power windows and needed new suspension). Mum gave me a $7000 loan and I now have a '98 Ford Falcon instead. It's bootiful and has so much power :D

I always wanted a Falcon!

Time to go waste some time playing in Pogo until I feel tired again. I sure hope I can continue helping mum with her new investment place tomorrow. We've been painting and cleaning it for a while now. It was disgusting.

Adelaide? Adelaide!

Site stats below. Adelaide?!?!?!? OK

I Liberated This From Another Blog

But as they did not attribute it I will not attribute this to them

Vrooooooooooom!

You know what I really don't like? Trail bikes. There are way too many around here. There's nothing that pierces the tranquil calm of my resident countryside like a few trail bikes riding by.

Supposedly they're illegal on public roads but that doesn't seem to stop them around here :|


Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Day OFF!

Today I have time off as the cut over went well and nothing needs to be done till Monday. My plans are to head down to the Victoria Park Markets and have a wander around. It is quite foggy here at the moment and so this afternoon will have to do for that. Mean time the movie channel is keeping me company while Australia still sleeps.


Webcam shot from this morning's fog....

Hmmm Interesting

Frasier, Frasier, where fore art thou?

I was thinking today as I was on the way to work what a fucking cunt of a move channel 9 decided to bust when the moved Frasier from 7pm weeknights to 5:30pm weeknights. I love Frasier. That show is fucking hilarious after a hard day of working hard, to earn a living. Its refresing to see this kind of sitcom and it really hits the spot.

But Channel 9, in their infinite wisdom decided that instead of showing a high rating sitcom in this prime time slot, they would glue some macaroni to the set of a previously failed gameshow, get some new shaved monkeys to stand behind a button, and have them answering shit fucker questions to win fantastic cash prizes.

So heres me, just getting home from a fucking shit day at work to watch TV, and instead of Frasier I am bombarded with some dim-wit fucking retard incorrectly answering questions and WINNING CASH MONEY AND PRIZES FOR BEING A FUCKING CUNT!!!

What the fuck is up with this? I have to go to work to bust my fucking fanny from 9 till fuck knows when to earn a shit wage, and heres this stupid fucking cunt winning money for doing fuck all, and not just any old money... oh no... winning MY FUCKING MONEY I HAD TO DIE TO EARN!

You might say 'But Darrkon, you dont sponsor the show'. I would have to say 'Well Timmy, indirectly I do. Since companies who give away these crazy prizes and cash will factor that price into the cost of the items which you and me buy at the supermarket or blackmarket' So I am putting money in some cunts pocket who is wasting my valuable Frasier appreciation time.


Now to fix this dilemma you can either move the show back to game show time of 5:30pm OR have the people winning prizes, and then being shot dead to indicate to people watching that you get nothing for free, and they tried to cheat the system and paid with their life for it.


Fuck you Sale of the Cuntury Temptation. Fuck you very much for fucking me up.

Always Carry Your Own Camera

Today is a public holiday in the shakey isles. It is particularly sad to be working on a public holiday, especially when you are in another city and in another country. Anyway I needed to buy some weet bix to ensure I don't get sucked into having the full english breakfast and end up coming back 20kgs heavier. After wandering the windy wet streets looking for a supermarket and acquiring my weet bix (generic kiwi brand) my colleague and I exited, stage left, through the underground carpark.

My eyes were drawn to the PIMP MOBILE. Now I don't know if the owner of this car is a PIMP but a gold RR kit car with a silver skull hood ornament with red LED lights for eyes. Scarey!

The shame was I had left my camera in the hotel room and so I grabbed my colleague's minidigifocupix POS and attempted to take a picture of it. Alas this minidigifocupix POS is so sensitive it is impossible to take a picture without it bolted to a 10 tonne table in a vacuum. Anyway here is the best I could do.

Wow

Student nurses man, wow! I wish I'd had a digital camera to get photos of all these hotties taking care of me and touching me in such an intimate way during my recent stay at hospital. I did get up the courage to ask one who was particularly friendly about what she did on her weekends and found she had a boyfriend - Oh well...

If it wasn't so painful and impossible I'd be back next week with my appendix rotting away again.

Who Needs Minties?

It's days like today that make life worth living. Days where you set a list of things to do and you get them all done. What did I do? Oh nothing grand but I feel accomplished. I did some study, washed and waxed the car, went on a 50 minute bike ride, went on a 3 1/2hr bush walk with Caitlin and did all the housework. I ate well and I feel great!

The walk was a little hard for Caitlin. There was a steep decline for about 500m where you had to walk carefully down sideways. There was a steel cable to help but much of it was at ground level and Caitlin's shoes didn't hold as well as mine did. Of course, we had to climb 500m later too. She hated it and I felt exhilarated. I'm going to explore that territory far more thoroughly. It's a rabbit warren of tracks for around 15 square kilometres of mountainous bush. I dig!

Off Again

This time to Auckland so my posting will be sparse (maybe). But I am sure the other members will make up for my absence.

*waves ta ta*

Internet Fairytale

Sometimes events take a turn for the ridiculous and thus it is with a break away group of AtomicMPC forum goers who decided to set up their own forum. A forum that did not require any form of payment to post. A forum that would RULE THE WORLD*.

So the first step in running a half decent forum is to get some space and a good forum template and whaddaya know...these things cost money. So a joint venture was set up between one Forum Goer With The Idea and another Forum Goer With Some Cash.

But the CRUEL WORLD intervened and the Forum Goer With Some Cash was unable to keep the cash rolling in to support the forum and so auctioned the forum for the primcely sum of $230. This was announced in a thread in the forum. This seemed to have confused and bewildered the Forum Goer With The Idea. The New Owner then reduced the Forum Goer With The Idea's access and further ventured to call the membership idiots when some protested. The Forum Goer With The Idea then bans the Forum Goer With The Cash as punishment. Negotiations then ensue with another forum goer to get some cash.

The moral of the story I wish I was a flash animator so I could put this in cartoon form. Art imitating life imitating art imitating life...ad nauseum







* My words not theirs

Luck

Always the believer of fate, I have found that whenever I really need something it appears.

Maybe it's coincidence but I always find cash comes my way. This morning I was lamenting that I could not afford many groceries this week. This is not the end of the world as I stock up well but it would be a pain to miss out on a couple of things and next week will see me with even less money. Sooo...I'm riding to Mittagong as Jeremy has my car and I'm tossing up on what to do for lunch. I'm seriously considering going and having a huge meal at the local RSL and putting $10 on Keno (something I haven't done in about a year) as I would not miss the $10 too much but it would be great to win. I decided to take the healthy option and had a roll at the local shop and sat outside to eat it. Had I not done this then I would have missed the $50 note on the ground in front of the auto-teller. I looked around. Nobody about. SCORE!!! Perhaps it was even a subtle reward for resisting the club. Usually I don't think about it anymore but occasionally I do and I always resist now :D


I completed the Hero quiz and got this tripe...


My Inner Hero - Wizard!





There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.



It said 'You've never met a puzzle you can't solve. When it comes to leisure, you'd rather read, play a strategy game, or surf the 'Net than run around getting sweaty. You're a brainiac, and you're not ashamed to admit it'

Yeah righhhhhht...not!

My Inner Hero

You have to do a long test and sign up for an account so maybe you don't want to actually do this but..


My Inner Hero - Rogue!





It's a good thing I use my powers for good and not evil, because quite frankly, I could get away with murder. I'm clever, tricky, and charming. I know how to make you laugh with one hand and pick your pocket with the other. Not that I'd ever DO that, of course...



How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

You Learn Something New Every Day

I am SO hooked on blog surfing. Mind you knowing me this will last for another month or so and then I will SO love something else. But that is OK because I can always blog surf, even when we have gone over our monthly 10 gig ration and we end up capped (as we have been these last few days) and 5 PCs are sharing a 64kbs connection. Evil, evil children stealing the bandwidth!

But the point I was going to get to here was this morning while surfing blogs I bumped into this one and came across the term blegging. Now I haven't bothered going to wikipedia to check the veracity of the claim that blegging is where you use your blog to beg for something, but it sounds good enough to me anyway. I think I will try a little blegging myself.

I am looking for ideas for making cash that can be done by teenagers (or myself) either on the net or at home.

Please post your ideas in the comments section. Don't be shy!