I Am Unhappy And I'll Tell You Why

Apart from going to my friend's funeral today, I have generally been quite miserable for the last couple of months.

First I was prepared to put up with it because hey I am a woman and we put up with all sorts of painful nasty thoughts and events. But the universe in it's infinite capacity to bung things right in your face, kept chucking shit up until I had to say "OK that's enough, I know what I have to do already".

I love change as long as I am working towards an outcome, a goal, something that will better the current situation. In my job I mostly think about how I can make things faster, easier and sometimes cheaper. I like thinking that way, making new processes and procedures, getting things "sorted". I love planning and getting people involved and enthused. It's a buzz to have a team of people work on and accomplish something. It's great!

So what the hell has all this got to do with being miserable? It's because several times in the last year I have been instructed to "close your eyes and imagine yourself doing exactly what you want to do/be/have". So imagining myself in 10 years time doing exactly what I wanted to do made me unhappy. Good hey?

Yes I know what I want to be doing, what I think being successful really means, what it all looks like ... it's not a flash plan...no fame or even huge riches .... just a business, a house, working when I want...

I am miserable because I am not working towards this goal. Miserable because I feel I am not getting anyone enthused or supporting me. Miserable because I know there is not one thing I cannot do if I want to do it....and yet here I am not doing it.

I'll keep you posted on my progress

let's see if this works

Rollin'... In my 5.0

Well I walked out of a job yesterday when I almost cam to blows with my 'manager' - I have a problem with the word manager in this case as with the constant bitching and whining he was much more 'womanager' - Got an apology phone call that didn't make me change my mind. I wasn't being paid enough for that shit.

Get home yesterday and mass email applications about, couple of phone calls go well, few interviews today and by five O the clock I have another job!

No idea why Vanilla Ice inspired the Title for the blog but fuck it - everythings coming up Milhouse now!

:D

My Friend Died This Morning

If you read this then the title will make sense.

It really happened all so quickly that I am still kind of disbelieving she has gone.

Parking Lot Rage

I swung into the local Metro supermarket carpark after work to pick up something for dinner. To the left was a 4WD pulled up outside of the ATM. To the right was a woman pulling out of a car parking spot. There was an empty spot on the far side of the car pulling out. I waited until the car had left and pulled into the spot it had vacated. Next thing the 4wd starts tooting it's horn and then drove round to the other side where there was 2 more empty spots, and parks.
I get out of the car and start walking to the shop when the woman driving the 4wd starts screaming across the car park " YOU SHOULD WATCH OUT LADY, YOU SHOULD LEARN SOME PATIENCE".

I was dumbfounded!

While shopping I realised this woman could not park her 4WD in a normal car parking spot and that was why she was pissed off. That is why she had to go over the other 2 empty spots, even when there was an empty spot next to me.

I was glad that while she was screeching across the carpark I just looked at her rather than getting in a cat fight. But I would have loved to have told her to "GO LEARN HOW TO PARK YOUR CAR PROPERLY OR GET A SMALLER ONE BITCH!"

Sore Losers

I was just playing a game of hearts in pogo. For those who don't know the game, the object is to get the least number of points and taking the trick with a Q of Spades gives you 13 points and any heart gives you 1 point.

Now, people in Pogo hearts are generally really uptight. If you don't hold that queen for the 'low man' (your opponent with the lowest score) then they accuse you of playing badly and you get comments along the lines of 'hey, you're losing the game for yourself too' if you deal something that will end the game...gotta keep the scores really even, you see.

Anyways, the game was to 50 and the scores were:

Me: 2
Opponent 1: 21
Opponent 2: 23
Opponent 3: 25

I dealt the Q of spades onto Opponent 1 and the conversation went:

Opp 2: It was either me or you
Opp 1: I was low man
Opp 2: At least I'm not an ass like you

Now nothing had been said by anyone prior to this as pogo hearts players aren't friendly and don't say hi...and it's only in hearts that this occurs. Sooo...I'm lost so the chat follows:

Me: ?
Opp 2: I've reported you to pogo
Me: Me?
Opp 2: For bad language
Me: Huh? I'm lost.

Nothing more was said but when I placed the final queen that would win the game Opp1 and Opp2 left before it was over. It was then that I realised Opp 2 was referring to my nick - Arsehoyle. Well, what uptight little shits. lol Opp 3 and I had a nice little chat about people who didn't know how to have fun and thanked each other for the game. Maaaan...it's really sad when an online rated game can turn you into a nazi.

I may as well return to my study even though I've decided I don't want to do this as a career. At least I won't get abused for writing a report :|

Does anyone want number 3 in my picture series?

Old Lady Ranting

I go in cycles of trying to be helpful and courteous within the online community. But (ain't there always a but) the age group of those that I interact with is about my son's age and higher, and mostly male. This means that there is the posturing and posing from males trying to be "men" much like . I spend my time just letting go of the crap that is being spouted and trying hard not to pity these hormonally crazed humans who are so confused and scared and seeking acceptance from their peers by being total goits. In the end I just throw my hands in the air and say 'fuck 'em, they can all go and get stuffed".

And they can!

Waiting for something you know wont happen...

Gentle reader,
yesterday, as I prepped for a shower, I turned on the hot water and stood there, in my bathing pants, waiting for the hot water to come.

Alas, after about 3 minutes without even a trace of warmth from the icy stream, I knew in the deepest pit of my heart that it had finally happened... the pilot light had gone out on the gas hot water heater.

Truly, this is an indication that the cold is upon us, for each year in winter, the water heater at Castle Darrkon will fail to provide lifes most essential service (hot water) due to condensation forming on the exterior of the watervessel and eventually putting out the pilot light, so that when the water needs reheating, nothing can start the main burner, and instead we are all slowly gassed.

I had to run around naked in the backyard yelling and kicking random things (car, house , dog) and eventually the thing lit and the flames of victory burned brightly under the mighty boiler that is our water heater, but I still had to take a cold shower since it will take a while for the water to heat up.

As I stool there in the shower with my balls shrivelling to a point where they ceased to exist (or went inside my arsehole where there was still some warmth) I had to curse natural gas and wish for the umpteenth time we used an electric hot water heater.


PS. I would like to report that my testicles have now resumed normal function.

Love,
Darrkon

What a night

14/11/1919
22/4/2005
RIP

The Reaper Cometh

A friend of mine at work (I think she is in her late 50s) went off on leave at Easter. At that time she had some severe abdominal pain and went to hospital. They discovered a 16cm tumour on her kidney and metastisised cancer in her lungs and the bones in her forearm. They gave her a prognosis of 12 months with immunotherapy.

Today an email from her husband to say her cancer has proven to be a lot more aggressive than originally thought and her prognosis is now 1-4 weeks. Her only wish is to be able to leave hospital and spend those last weeks at home.

I feel bad. I want to ring her to tell her what a good friend she has been and that the people around her are better for knowing her. But would you want to hear that in your last weeks? I don't want to write her off but there really is zero hope for her now. I don't want to say goodbye to her while she is still living, it seems like a betrayal.


Dont know....

Bai-LAN

It's gonna be a mammoth 48 hours. We'll have to be up early in order to be at St Mary's by 9 (1 1/2 hrs drive away). Then I have to drop off Jeremy, go to Hurstville and drop off my daughter then go to work at Lewisham. After work it's back to bai-lan. Back home Saturday night, just in time for 3 days of non-stop assessment writing. YUCK!

Here's the second instalment in my series of pictures. Kudos to the artist, whoever they may be!

How depressing. I've got the same problem Jeremy had last semester...the assessment task isn't hard to do, but it's oh so hard to get into. I have a really busy week ahead and I've barely started. I'm always tired. This morning I had this great dream that I'm op-shopping and I'd just picked up this beetle baby toy when all of a sudden I sat bolt upright choking. I got over it within a minute but by then I was awake. At least it wasn't a completely shitty hour like possum time at Grams' house.

Now just for the hell of it I'll post the first of a series of pictures. This is how men get their looks.

Boring Stuff Happened Yesterday

The this morning the bloody possums decided that the sudden shower of rain at 3:30am was a perfect time to "get the fuck outa here" and woke me up on their way to the possum condo where they would kick back and watch some late night infomercials.

Meanwhile I lay tossing and turning because the brain has gone "WAKE-UP TIME - let's start thinking about everything you have to do today and everything you have done". And off it went whirring and buzzing while the body protested loudly. The body won in the end. I think it withheld oxygen or something.

Wonder what the rest of the gang are up to...no posting?

Ear Canal, Far Canal?

For the last week or so I have been telling my daughter "if you don't clean the counters and sink after washing up we will end up with German cockroaches and they will crawl into your ears and die". Pretty farfetched I know but I am not going to pass up the chance to put another issue into my kid's heads and let them pay for the therapist in later years.

Anywayyyyy I have some strange personal beliefs. One is if you draw too much attention to a certain subject then the universe will make it happen for you. Mostly this is a good thing because I can focus on the flowers and butterflies and enjoy the good luck I just know is coming my way. But superstitiously nasty events can be also attracted to you if you are focusing too hard on them (and "touching wood" won't get you out of it either).

The possums woke me at 5:11 this morning (little bastards must have slept in) as I lay there cursing their furry hides to hell I felt a strange sensation in my right ear. It felt like a muscle twitching (like your eyelid or calves or whatever twitches on you) but deep in my ear. My first thought was OH MY GOD SOMETHING HAS CRAWLED IN MY EAR AND CAN'T GET OUT. Sometimes my inner voice chooses to shout rather than whisper. I guess this was appropriate under these circumstances.

Every few minutes this feeling would reoccur. It felt disgusting and I could only stop it by rubbing under my ear or sticking my finger in my ear. I had to go to a client's site today and didn't want to be constantly sticking my finger in my ear!!!!!!! I got up to see if changing position would stop it, but it continued. I walked about, it didn't change. I sat at my PC and took stock.

If something had crawled in my ear my ear would be blocked - good it's not blocked
If something crawled in my ear it would probably hurt - good it doesn't hurt
If something had crawled in my ear I would probably hear scrabbling or something - good I hear nothing like that

So I decided that it was just a weird twitchy thing and it would go away....eventually. And it did, about 5 hours later. Thing is...my ear is really sore now.

Super Nanny

So here I was watching the TV, and a commercial for Super Nanny comes on. Heres a pommy sheila telling a bunch of kids how to act, and the kids are screaming and crying and carrying on like right little cunts.

The parents are crying and everyone is upset. Eventually, I am told, Super Nanny comes to the rescue by the end of the show the family is all roses thanks to a series of behavioural and other disciplines or some shit.

However this takes the length of the show to sort out.

I came up with my own version of Super Nanny. She has no accent, does NOT take shit from child or parent, and will get the job done very quickly.

Super Nanny

While the show would only last until everyone is lying on the floor bleeding (5 - 10 minutes) it would be much more enjoyable I believe.

Darrkon

Lacking Drive

I am soooooooo sick of driving!

Had to go to Sydney on Saturday. Cleaned mum's. Cleaned Peter's. Drove home. Jeremy updated the firmware on the modem router. It defaults to a weird IP range and the admin password doesn't work anymore. The spare modem shit itself. Had to wait until this morning to call Netcomm. Common problem apparently but they'd replace it for free if we go there. So we drove to Lane f'ing Cove. They gave us a reconditioned modem and guarantee it will work. Got home after a very long delay in the M5 tunnel. It doesn't work. It's totally stuffed and windows even says it's malfunctioning. After a bit of haggling Jeremy has gotten Netcomm to send another one. Lots more fiddle farting about and the spare finally reset...but refuses to again. No matter cos we have Internet. We have to log in to TPG via our own Internet connections though. We just couldn't get it to work by uplinking the router to the hub. It also means that the Smoothwall isn't working and we can't hide the IP. Oh well, I can live with that. I'm just so bloody glad I don't have to go back to Sydney again. I've had to go to either Campbelltown or Sydney 4 out of 7 days for a few weeks now. I also do 85% of the driving cos it's my car and Jeremy hates driving just as much as I do. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

Anyways, I'm thirsty. I was going to make a cup of tea but I hear it causes constipation. Maybe I should have this instead...

Bored, so here's this...

So bored lately that I have to make music, I need a job.

Madonna's got great drums
I'm broke'n'slow
All for Dib
Dirty

-robbie_the_seal

Scabs!

Hard rubbish pick-up starts in our area tomorrow. Because it has been a lovely sunny day the scabs have been trolling the streets looking for that hot garbage that has been put out.
In my hysterical frenzy of ordering the children and _HaunT_ around I demanded that the pool table that was getting weathered in the back room be placed by the roadside for pick-up. It was like a beacon went off and vans and trucks pulled up in the last hours of daylight to see if they could somehow get it in the back of their vehicles. Being a pool table though it is a bit bigger than a dining table or something and so many puzzled scratched heads were nodding in its direction.

It will be like the Serenghetti after the lions have feasted in the night...only the bones will be left.

I bought myself a keyboard today. I love Microsoft keyboards as they are lovely to touch and take my bashing quite well without click-clacking. This is what I bought

Transferring registration of a used vehicle in 3 easy steps...

I was at the RTA today in this great country of Sydney and as I was standing there in line waiting to trasfer rego of the Civic from my mates name to me, I thought of a great slogan that the RTA of NSW could use to simplify in peoples minds, the process of transferring rego, three easy steps that the NSW government has created.

1. GO
Go to your local RTA with the signed registration slip for the car you have just purchased

2. GET
Get yourself a Transfer of Registraion form and fill out all the appropriate sections

3. FUCKED
In the arse by the ridiculous stamp duty and fee's that you have to pay on a car that is ALREADY FUCKING REGISTERED.

So remember kids, when purchasing a used car and you want to know what to do about the rego.. theres three simple steps to follow in NSW. GO GET FUCKED

Love Darrkon

Must Have Been A Baggage Handler

http://www.lakemac.com.au/news/news_details.asp?key=1356

(hmm you probably have to be Australian to get that joke)

These* Little Shits

Run over the awning outside our bedroom window. They do it at this time of the year as they haven't cottoned on to the fact that daylight savings has finished. So they do it at 5am. They do it whether it is a work day or not. Punctually. 5am.

It just doesn't make sense

 

* Not exactly these.  I stole a picture from the intarweb to show you a rough approximation of the real ones as I don't choose on most days to be out of bed at 5am.

Help wanted

Well I found an acapella Madonna song (acapella enough anyway) and have cut a bunch of samples out of it - Now all I need is some sort of arrangement - Anybody want to have a go? Finished track will be posted soon as I or some wonderful, cool, 1337 person can arrange these for me :)


Madonna say:

"Everyone must stand alone"
"Feels like flying"
"I can feel your power"
"I close my eyes"
"I hear you call my name and it feels like"
"I think of mourning"
"I wanna take you"
"I'm down on my knees"
"Its like a dream"
"Like an angel sighing"
"Midnight"
"No end and no beginning"
"Now I'm dancing"
"Out of the sky"

-sealy mcbeal

When You Have Nothing Nice To Say..

Pick on someone who can't fight back. It's been a crappola week with another crappola week coming but I won't bore you with my stress and anxiety. I will entertain you with my totally unPC thoughts of other blogs.

I am sure some of you has clicked the "next blog" link *pastes in the code to see if it totally fucks up the formatting *





I think I did it!



Anyway I hit the button about 50 times last night and these are the results. Be aware that 1 blog can fall into many categories at once...hence the over 100% figures

80% Have a religious bent (could have been the dead Pope thing skewing results)
45% Are not in English
20% Are some spam bot advertising College degrees, or some such shit, online
60% Are by Asian teens with the most annoying animated cursor shit
55% Are Asian teen girls whinging about how much they love some Anglo guy
5% Are photoblogs and hence are interesting whether in English or not
6% Are interesting because of the writing in them
3% Have some active-X virus
2% Have annoying removed the "next blog" tool Bar thingy. Annoying because it forces me to hit the back key which then loads up some Pink Asian Blogstrosoty that hijacks my cursor and makes it a smiley butterfly dropping small flakes of butterfly crap!
.1% have some really crazy interesting stuff

It's like russian roulette what you get...and I am kind of addicted

The Smell of Death - Not Necessarily at Pizza Hut

Today I went for a walk in a new spot. I came across this terrible stench. Pretty soon I was met with Billy Goat not so gruff seeing as I'm long since dead. The sight was bad but the odour was OMFG get me a bucket NOW! I've had to find and remove plenty of small dead animals from houses I've worked at and they've never smelled so bad. It's 4 hours later and I can still taste the death on my tongue. Poor Billy. I'm sure he was a fine goatie once. It made me think though...why does death smell so bad? What is it that makes it so unpleasant...like nose porn? lol

Anyways, back to reality and my four walls. I've been procrastinating all week. I am supposed to be doing this network management assessment but I really can't get motivated. It's unusual for me to be this bad. I've been playing tonnes of pogo euchre. Anyone else like euchre? Come join me in pogo. I'm SacrificialNewt, Arsehoyle and BurnedEdges. Either partner me or let me whip your arse ;)

Now here's a really wrong picture for you all (although you've probably all seen it before). It's one of my faves.

What Did YOU Learn Today?

I learned about Nose Porn. *sniffs*

You cant see around corners.. and get stuffed

Hi All,
Happy to see more people posting in the blog, lets hope it gets off to a rip snorting pace!!

Anyways, its getting late so i must be breif in whinging about todays events:

1. Driving down Sydneys beautiful Botany Rd near Redfern, a small azean lady in a white Toyota Camry discovered that when you are in the inside lane of two lanes turning left, and the outer lane (also turning left) contains a truck and trailer filled with mans gift to nature (petrol), that you must indeed give way to the trailer as it turns. Simple physics dictates that your car and the trailer cannot occupy the same lane simultaneously.
The outcome was less serious then I had hoped, only a smashed side mirror on the Camry and some minor panel damage.. but I havent seen that happen before.

Remember kids stay away from the inside lane of turning trucks!

2. If you are lucky enough to live in this great country I call Sydney, then you would probably have seen the new TV commercial for Pizza Huts Stuffed Crust pizza.
Its some portly fellow talking about the amazing work of brilliance that was putting cheese AND bacon into the crust of a pizza.. Now whilst this is a lovely sounding idea.. listen closely to the guy talking.. his laboured breathing and obese frame indicate that all is not well, and he should put down the pizza and try something less fatty.. like a bar of lard for example.
Seriously, this guy gets exhausted waving a slice of pizza around I rekon if he bit into it he would probably die, and when they do an autopsy there would be fat instead of blood and the coroner would die from the fat vapour escaping from this guys arteries.

Pizza Hut, if you want to sell your high fat products to people who dont have a death wish, try doing what everyone else does.. advertise your products using people who dont use your products. The average healthy person does not want to hear the wonders of bacon and cheese in a pizza crust being recited by someone who sounds like they are about to have a heart attack.. At least put some attractive women in the commercial for fucks sake.

The ad gives me the shits and that makes me mad.

I am done ranting for the day. I took my civic to work and its lovely to drive.

TEH END

Madman At Midnight

DJs mixing live to anime, manga, Astro Boy and everything else in the Madman DVD catalogue.

Umbrella Revolution @ Federation Square
2315 - 16th April
~~~

I am so fucking there - Even with the house-mates in tow ;P
___


I ate two kiwi fruits over an hour ago and I am still spitting green shit and picking seeds out of my teeth - What the fuck kiwi fruit!? You try to infect me!? -FUCK YOU! Delicious mother fucker!
___


- robbie_the_seal

Hi everyone, I've been very nicely invited to blog here by Gramyre. I will try to not be boring even though my life would seem boring to most. Today I will share with you the two memorable things that happened on my nice long daily walk.

1. I saw an ambulance driver unload a stretcher outside my old neighbour Lesley's house. Her son was outside. Maybe she OD'ed. She used to deal from her old flat and she's looked like a crack addict the last few times I passed her in the street so it wouldn't surprise me.

2. I came upon a guy sitting on the kerb with a plastered leg and crutches. He had a straggly dog that came up to me and growled. "He's a feisty mutt" says the man. The dog nips at my ankle and the man tells me to kick it in the jaw. The man then makes a grab for it as I walk past, wrestles with it, slaps it and bends it backwards. The dog yelps and the man is swearing and yelling at it. No wonder the dog nips and growls at people. If I thought it would do any good I would have given the guy a piece of my mind. Pity I didn't know where they lived or I'd have reported him for animal abuse.

I would describe all the good things about my walk...ie. the rest of it, but the feelings of sun on your back, smoke in the air and absolute isolation from civilisation don't make for good reading material.

Sick People (Mentally)

When I was married to an alcoholic I made a startling discovery...mentally ill people like to hang together with other mentally ill people....makes you feel more normal...I got mostly better and don't get married to alcoholics anymore...anyway I see an event that is being put together by some seriously angry fucked up people and even while they are trying to be nice and charitable they are mostly angry, fucked up and totally oblivious to the fact that people don't want to attend or even acknowledge them because they are SCARILY sick...mentally.

Oh this is not about anyone that can post on here by the way.

Stay away from scary angry fucked up people kiddies!

DOUBLE POST - BLOGGER IS SUX

Car

I just bought a new car. Its a Honda Civic from the year 2000.

Its the most expensive thing I have ever bought and I have to say that as far as things to buy go, cars would have to be the most fucking shit thing ever invented.

Sure they help you get around town quickly and in style, but you have to pay through the nose for one, then you have to pay all this bullshit to put it on the road (thanks BOB CARR), more bullshit to insure it, more to service it and so on and so forth.

For anyone thinking of buying a car, my advice is DONT FUCKING DO IT. Buy a plasma TV or refrigerator instead. They are shitloads cheaper and you just pay once, then it gives you a few good years of service with no ongoing costs besides electricity and content insurance.. but who gives a fuck coz its still infinitesimally cheaper per year then even 1 new tyre for your fucking car. They wont help you get around, but you can just bum a lift off your mates or ride the public transit system like a bum.

In other news, today at work I worked from 9am to 5:30pm. During this time I did the following:

10am - 11am - Draw visio diagrams of network
12pm - 1pm - Went to lunch
1:30pm - 3:30pm - Meeting with prospective client. Stared blankly at client while boss talked about something
4:30pm - 4:40pm - Stared blanky at www.cisco.com 'researching' ways to do something with a router
5:30pm - Leave office

At all other times not listed above I was busy reading www.smh.com.au OR challenging my mental abilities playing single player sudden death high speed rocket arena tick-tack-toe to see if there was a guaranteed way to win everytime. After about 4 hours I found there was not.
I also used a highlighter to colour half an A4 sheet of photocopy paper flourescent yellow. That was quite an accomplishment and I was proud of what I created.. but I think I chucked it in the bin now.

Anyways, thanks for reading:

Darrkon

Testing One Chew , One Chew

Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com

Yesterday

Yesterday was a shit day for me. Don't know what is up but something definately is. Spent most of the day having to lay down and rest as I felt exhausted. Still managed to get net time in though (of course!).

Just trying to figure out this morning how to get some vblogs up here and some voice blogging too. So many great (and cute) features out there.

oops

So You Want In?

Send me your email address either though IRC or a PM in the forums

The first post? The firs portal to a new vocabuliric dimension, one more wonderous then our own...

Hi,
Many of you would know me from the atomic forums or more predominantly the atomic and affiliated chat rooms found on Austnet (#atomicmpc anyone?).

When Gramyre (the founder of this mighty blog) was telling me about this idea, I have to admit I was skeptical. My success rate with many pojects (from websites to basic life functions) have been rampant failures.

After further thought and the promise of porn, I figured I would jump onboard and blurt out some of the crap floating around my ever busy head.

I will be keeping an eyeball on this and giving my pearls of wisdom as necesasry. I wont say too much yet since I dont think anyone else has posted and I would hate to make a complete fuck of myself before anyone else gets the chance.

So lets work together to make a truly random collection of words and pictures.

Darrkon

Okay While We Wait For Invitations To Be Accepted

I am surprised this has not been tried in our community before. I am also a tad apprehensive about what this will do to the normal forums. Don't want to be stealing away anything from there, but do see a gaping hole where this might nestle.

This is the place to blather on blog like about your life, your feelings, your inner stuff.

There is one rule and one rule only.

No posting of any pictures that one might find on rotten.com or similar. To make that clear that means no posting of sexually shocking (goatse, lemonparty,tubgirl etc), no yucky death pics (pics of the dead pope are fine, pics of blown up, decapitated mutilated etc are not fine). You can however post links to those types of pics with a nice warning like DNLIES (do not look if easily shocked).

Let's see where this goes.